Flight

She left hurriedly.

A careless goodbye and there she was with PS at the departure queue waiting to clear her passpart. I did not even have the chance to give her a hug. Or rather, she probably chose not to embrace us for fear of its catalytic effect on tears.

She turned around, catching one last look of her loved ones before boarding the flight. Controlled emotions finally succumbed to the unbearable sadness of separation and tears flowed carelessly and ceaselessly down her crumbled face.

Yukie is not one who cries easily. She's the kind who'll laugh at friends when she sees them cryingover emotional scenes inside the cinema. (I could still remember how she turned over to look at my teared face before reclining to her seat with both hands covering her mouth to contain her laughters. Yoke, don't do that next time lah! Let me cry in peace can??!)

But that night, she probably broke down more than three times. Needless to say, we the united crybabies of the world -- me, Teng and Qing -- were not spared the tears. Teng's contact lense even came off, thanks to her well of tears. Keow and Qian, however, were more rational and cool-headed. They knew Yukie's departure was a mere respite from Singapore.

Keow made a photo album for Yukie. (She didn't sleep the nite before cos of that. The album, naturally, was of authentic "Made by Keow" quality: extremely high standard with exquisite paper flower carvings!! Applause for Keow!!) Five of us penned our well wishes and feelings for Yukie. It contained moments from the past 12 years. How fate first brought us together to study at BP. How popular the M-shaped fringe (think Aaron Kwok the newbie) used to be. How silly we used to look. How we scared ourselves silly at the haunted East Coast Chalet. Right up to the barbecue we had recently. The album would probably make a very good companion.

There she was at the departure area. We walked along with them (outside the gate of cos!) till their shadows disappeared from our sight. Goodbye, my dear pal! Cheers to a new journey!

The five of us remained at Changi Airport. Talked and talked. Talked and talked. Till it was eleven plus. Boarded bus 36 and decided to continue with our chats at some 24-hr joints. It's been a long time we had such gathering, just to talk.

Tick, tock, tick, tock. Two a.m. Talked and talked. Tick, tock, tick, tock. 4 a.m. Still talking. Tick, tock, tick, tock. 6 a.m. STILL TALKING. Hungry. Headed down to McDonalds for breakfast. Carried on talking. 7:40 a.m, we finally left.

What did they say about women? That they're synonamous with a market. I absolutely agree.

But...but...it's really been so long since we've chatted like this. Ever since an unhappy incident some years back. Now that we're back together, surely we have that prerogative to chat for as long as we like, right? EH RIGHT??! (Wide-eye blink, blink, blink)

That incident will probably be the one and only glitch in our friendships. I'm absolutely positive about that cos we've all grown to be fine, young ladies who have no time for petty demeanours. Ahaha. Let's continue to build on what we have because I know we are still the 13-year-olds who are as sincere and true as before. Promise? (Give me your little finger :P)

Calling all cheese lovers!!

I've always wanted to blog on this: where you can get cheap and good cheese naan!
It's so good i just have to share this piece of news!
For the uninitiated, naan is Indian flat bread.
And cheese naan, of cos, is Indian flat bread with cheese filling.
Head down to the Kopitiam beside Singapore Arts Museum.
And yes, look for the Indian stall (where else!!?? Hullo?!?).
The smell is enough to make you hooked.
One bite makes you a goner. (Think insane addiction)
So if you're not sure if you want to be addicted for life, don't try it.
I regretted taking that first bite. I feel hungry just thinking about it, all the time!
Anyone knows of any other cheesy dishes that are fantastic? Lemme know!!

Candle in the wind

She passed away. She died of liver cancer.
I don't really know her personally, but somehow i have deep respect for her.
My image of her: A go-getter. A charismatic, gung-ho, intellectual woman. One who dwarfs you with her mere presence. The epitome of a modern woman.
She was on my panel of interviewers for my previous job. She's just slightly over forty, but is already the deputy honcho of my ex-company.
Her two kids are still so young. The elder has probably just gone to secondary school.
She has so much going for her, but she's only a human. A fragile being whose life can be snubbed out cruelly in an instant. A candle in the wind.
Farewell. I will remember you, always.

My future is...

My months of bumming will be over very soon. I'm feeling great and recharged after taking a much needed break. I was really suffering from burnout from my previous job.

Come mid-sept, I'll be stepping into a classroom once again. Only this time, I'll be the one doing all the talking and the one writing furiously on the board. I'm supposed to teach Eng and Chem in a sec school. The posting's yet to be out and I pray i won't get a super naughty class. I can't imagine the kids calling me "Miss YEEEE"(as though I'm some disgusting creature) and giving me nicks like "Fishy Fish","Fish-tail" or even "Nemo" (to make it less obvious??!!) I did my fair share of name-calling as a student. The thought of getting my retribution gives me the jitters.

It's probably normal to not know what to do on that first day. I'm clueless. Absolutely. Should i be fierce with them? Should i be like a friend? What I've been hearing a lot is:"Even if you're fierce, i think the students won't be scared of you leh!" (With sniggers that can be heard miles away)

Eh, is it my built? Or am i just too nice to you people? (Ahaha :P). Time to prove my mettle. I'll try to put my NPCC experience to good use ie. screaming and shouting commands till people fell to their knees to beg that i stopped shouting. Ahaha. Nah. I really don't know how i should treat them. I guess i just have to go with the flow.

Many people have asked me before: Why the decision when i'm supposed to be pursuing my passion in piano? My dream job is to teach PE and music in school because i'll be able to interact with many students and teach them things that i truly enjoy.

However, enjoying an activity does not equate finesse in it. I failed my music audition. Darn! I can't blame the examiner though. I croaked like a toad during the sight-singing test because i was too nervous. Myimprovisation was like a kindergarten kid fumbling with a keyboard for the first time. I have no one to blame but myself.

And I almost went bersek when my new piano teacher told me that my playing technique was wrong. So wrong was i for fifteen darn years! That's a long time to not realise a mistake. So I'm starting from scratch again, building up my basics. But this journey will not be an easy one. Because i can sit at my piano for two hours playing just one scale and still sound horrible for weeks. And it's just one scale. I have 252 scales to practice. Yes, a few setbacks and I've sold out. Have i?

Yes, I did once declare my ambition to be a piano teacher. But right where I'm at now, I just don't know how long i'll take. And whether i'm suited for the job is a question, given that I enjoy lots of social interaction -- something that teaching piano one-on-one cannot offer. And money is a concern too! I hate it that I've to budget my spending every week. (Yes, I've succumbed to the the EVIL one. I hate it that idea and I'm ashamed of myself!)

Be it a moe teacher, a piano teacher, a lindy hop instructor, a social worker. Nothing's cast in stone. And nothing's bad about that. I'm, after all, just 25. I remembered Sim Wong Hoo saying something like this: "The beauty of life is that you get to make choices. Over and over again."

This pretty much sums up how i feel. At least after 25 years, I know what's out for me. No more dreams about becoming a lawyer, a reporter or a broadcast journalist because i know they're not my cup of tea.

So what's my cup of tea? I don't know. The point is i can choose and choose again. Until i find my career path. For now, I'm pretty excited about my life. A new start.

My music? All i know is that I'll never give it up. So far, music's the best investment I've made (although it's my dad's money most of the time. Heehee..) It's something that I can never do without. I'll choose to do it, over and over again, even if there are no tangible returns in the eyes of others.
Music diploma. Wait for me! I'll get to you some day, somehow! No matter how long! I'll get to you!

What carcinogenic pleasure!

Barbeques are great fun. On Saturday, we threw a farewell BBQ for Yukie. It's been a long time since we did this. The bbq was a great reminiscing tool. Memories from the past flooded my tiny brain that day.

Our days in secondary school, class chalets, outings to Marina South for kite-flying and steam-boats etc. Sat was exactly like the good 'ol days, where fun superceded anything and where raucous laughters abound.

The usual suspects for the day: chicken wings, otah, satay, bee hoon, sausages etc. Yummy! But of course words like "sumptuous", "delicious", "succulent" are only used during the inital stages of the bbq. Subsequently, non-palatable ones like "nausea", "bloated", "filled to the throat" spewed forth.

Ewwww! Eeeeks! No more food please! When everyone's full, it's time to play "Zhong Ji Mi Ma"! It's THE GAME to play to clear the leftovers. Super effective, funny, but extremely sadistic. I love playing it. Watching people's faces, crumbled with pure agony, when they have to eat when they're full. Is there better entertainment? Heehee...

But Saturday was my unlucky day. I did most of the eating. Luckily, like i always say: "My stomach is as big as the universe!!!" Muahahaha...it wasn't painful eating the leftovers. In fact, I quite enjoyed it! Hee =)

Super funny bbqs from the past
1) We were at East Coast bbqing using Qian's portable pit. All were in high spirits when raindrops started falling. Never mind. No problem. When great minds are together, ideas fly and combust.

We decided to shift the portable pit beneath the bbq pit provided at east coast so that our food was shielded from the rain. Great! So we squatted, a few with umbrellas in our hands, and continued with our bbq.

And like in all shows, the drizzle always becomes a heavy downpour. Our drama-mama show was no exception. Time to abort the mission. We ran and ended up at the underpass leading to east coast park.

Guess what? We bbq-ed at the underpass for the rest of that day, inviting stares from passers-by. What the hell!!? Who cares??! We're eating great bbq food and you can keep on staring!

2) Scene: Leftover bbq chicken wings, crying and dying to be eaten
Location: Pasir Ris Chalet
Year: Secondary 3, class chalet
Our sympathies were with the bbq chicken wings that were dying to be eaten on the evening of day 1. So we decided to keep them. So plates of bbq chicken wings laid all over the tiny chalet room.

Under the freezing air-con, the wings must have frozen to death. With wings so cold, nobody wanted to eat them, of course.

But things took a turn the afternoon of day 2. The guys were so hungry and with no food in sight, did the only thing to keep themselves alive.

That's right. They savaged the chicken wings, cold and untouched since the evening before. To the bones. Eewww! Ehhh...think i ate it too. Haha

A Season of Tears

I'm a crybaby. I admit it. Always have been. Always will be.

With two good friends UK-bound these two weeks, let's just say that I'm packing my bag with packets of tissue. A truck full of them. For me, for them and for everyone else who will be sending them off.

Ros will be leaving on 20th, Yukie 26th.

These two gals have never met each other before and they don't have much in common, except that both are really gossipy (like i am, which is why we're good friends! Ahaha!!), laugh a lot, very caring, like to ogle at hunks (yukie: Mr Red; Ros: "My Tonie ah.."), animated, babelicious, etc. The list of goodies packed in their small frames goes on. Omigod! They actually have quite a lot in common, don't they? If i'm gonna put everything down, I'll be writing a thesis about their goodness and they'll be so happy that they're gonna buy me breakfasts, lunches, teas, dinners and suppers for the flattery. But i'm on diet so...

Yukie's my secondary school friend. I disliked her during the first few days of school. Because she's so LOUD (both her voice and actions) and I'm so soft-spoken and quiet. (Objection overruled! It's my blog! Heehee..) But as you can tell, that's all history (The part about disliking her. I'm still a soft-spoken and quiet gal :P) She's my partner-in-crime for daidi, mahjong and when i feel the need to slaughter chickens. (What's that?!!?? We used to sha(1) ji(1) a lot in air-conditioned rooms widely known as Party World or Kbox now.) Oh, and we make stones, otherwise also known as cakes, for people to choke on. But that is only possible because Yukie and i have another partner-in-crime, Teng, to unleash our baking prowess. With our powers combined (i.e. high-decibal laughters), we spooked lovey-dovey couples and made them disappear from the romantic coast of West Coast Park on Christmas Eve last year.

Ros is my uni mate. I think we probably only knew each other in our second year. I thought she's friendly. She thought I'm nice. So the friendly and the nice got together, hit it off and became rather good friends instantly. We did our internships together at TODAY newspaper and spent many Fridays after work gossiping, laughing and what else? More gossiping! We backpacked to Europe together with Nat. We walked the dark streets of Paris, shaken and scared, after a near snatch-theft/ pickpocket incident at midnight. We watched cheesy, hilarious porn flicks in our hotel room in Amsterdam. We napped in all the museums that we went to. We looked out for each other when Nat left halfway for Paris Summer School. We watched operas at dirt cheap prices, and with good seats to boast. (We looked like poor little girls so a couple offered us their good-priced seats because they had something urgent on). We snapped (sort of), went our separate ways and ended up in the Bell museum together. We made dashes and sprints with our heavy backpacks strapped on our backs. We almost didn't board our plane in Rome because we were sleeping! The month-long trip was unforgetable and I'm glad we did it together.

Parting is sad. I feel a part of me being taken away from me. But if i am to feel this way, how many folds the sadness will be for them? Apart from the ton-heavy emotional baggage of leaving loved ones behind, they will be accosted with issues of adaptability of all sorts. Yet, for all the problems that they might possibly face, there is nothing much i can do for them. Except to wish them the best. I applaud their bravery, for having the courage to take a gamble of some sorts to build better futures for themselves.

Take care, my dear pals! Till we meet again, i have enough memories of us to get by. I'm sure you have too.

I'll leave the hugs for the airport send-offs.

The Bad and the Malicious

My blog's empty for some time. Not that i chose to leave it empty for the last couple of days.
My computer's down, infected with more than 600 infections, according to Spyware Doctor.
Yes, imagine my wide-eyed horror and, of course, my perpetual cursing of people (whoever out there!!!) who started the obnoxious spams, viruses and whatever that makes hell for computer users like me!
Not 100, 200, 300 infections. More than 600! Gosh!
Curse the people out there!!! Damn you!!! Don't have have better things to do? Isn't there enough havoc in the world? You know we can seriously do without people like you! You disgusting parasites!

Her Big Day

Couldn't sleep. Exciting day coming up (Aug 3rd).

It's Yukie's ROM and I'm having my lindy performance at NTU. Yukie's the second among us six sec pals to get married. Qian tied the knot July 30 last year. Didn't do much for Yukie, except scrambling around, helping her find her ROM dress and shoes.

She's finally getting married, after seven years of courtship. She looked so happy and was completely at ease in spite of the make-up, done-up hair and sky-high stilettos.(Meaning: still as loud and funny, with no sense of proprieties, even on her big day. :P) I heard her mum cried for a long time before they set off. (She's the only child)

She'll be following her hubby, Song, to Manchester later this month and won't be around in S'pore for more than two years. Horrific thought. No more chit-chat-over-dinner sessions. No more cluedo, junior pictionary and whatever games we can lay our hands on. (Junior pictionary is more fun than pictionary because the answers are so obvious that you get the answers even b4 you start drawing sometimes!) No more laughing till our jaw aches, tears well and rolling on the floor. I'm really gonna miss her a lot!

With a stroke of bad luck (for me), another pal, Ros, is also leaving for London this month. She'll be working there for at least a year. When you're at the receiving end of such news, your mind is always replete with conflicting thoughts and feelings. Bitter. Sweet. Happy. sad. Selfish as it sounds, i hope i won't be hearing another of such news for some time.

Oops. Back to Yukie's rom. The solemnisation was fuss-free, quick but definitely as the name suggested, solemn. The atmosphere was, however, light-hearted, as the room filled with well-wishers for Song and Yukie. Needless to say, the moment was tense for both but they emerged relatively unscathed from it. (Opps, sorry, don't think i should be making fun of the moment of sacred union). And so they emerged from the registry room, Mr and Mrs Chua!(Confetti! Hooray!)

We went back to jj where the two of them met, hoping to capture some worthy moments from the past, once again. I swore that more than a thousand pairs of eyes were staring at us. Or rather them. Well, if i'm a student -- pulling my hair out while studying -- and suddenly a couple, impeccably dressed to kill, roamed about in school, I'll give them a hard stare too! More than 15 seconds without blinking, in fact.
And so Mr and Mrs Universe toured the school they once studied and enjoyed the photoshoot glamour moments. Then the moment came. No, not the smooching. Yukie's gonna throw her bouquet at her accompanying five, fair ladies. Song warned: "All of you had better catch the bouquet! It's very expensive, ok!"

The moment of truth. Who would be the next in line to sign on the dotted lines? Yukie concentrated all her energy on her bouquet. It somersaulted, swung and almost landed on no man's land. Just at that moment, Teng -- the valiant one -- sprang sideways, leapt forward and stretched her arms. Caught it. Two roses from the bouquet. She surreptitiously grabbed the handle of the bouquet before Yukie and Song saw the ill-treatment of it. Congrats Teng!

Dinner at Yunnan restaurant was lip-smackingly good. I was enjoying my meal till i received an obnoxious call from uncle eric, my lindy partner."Don't eat too much. Later you're gonna vomit everything out after our performance."Arghh...thanks so much for the reminder, uncle.

The performance, sad to say, wasn't our best. Our rehearsals last Saturday was more energy-pumpin. Simply put, more aesthetically pleasing. Though the audience littered our performance with oohhs, ahhs and claps after death-defying (or not!) mini aerials, we know it's only because they didn't have that keen sense of smell yet to detect all the mistakes that we've made. Or maybe they did, but they're just trying to be nice about it.

That dance routine was a killer. (Brian, thanks for coming up with a killer routine!) Not for people without stamina. (Hey, that's me!). Not for people with fats (Hey! That's me again!). Halfway through the performance, i almost couldn't catch my breath. I was already half dead. Gritted my teeth, held on to the end and tumbled on the couch after that.

The night ended well though. RH showed off his coquettish moves, adapted from the fcuk tee he was wearing. With his come-get-me pout and sensual body lines, he strutted his stuff for the camera. He had all the right moves.The only thing he did wrong was not realising that technology was so advanced now that cameras double up as video-recorders. Now we know where money will come rollin' from when we're broke! Sorry RH! :P

The Big 25

>>I (standing, 1st from right) turned 25 yesterday. Celebrated with my jc pals. Guess what? We all turned up in blue (no prior arrangement!) except the BM-ians.
Haha.


I used to think that growing old is no big deal. Everyone reaches there some day.
That was why i never could understand why some people would go under the knife. Or why some suffer the grostesque pain of having a needle inserted under their skin just to get that "miracle" boost of botox.

But something struck me that day when i visited my grandma. It ran a chill down my spine.

I was chatting with her and i casually placed my hand over hers. Then, she suddenly remarked that my hand was so smooth compared to hers. At 84 (I think), there was no way her hands could be anything but wrinkled,saggy and full of old-age spots.
That particular frame stuck in my mind for a moment -- that juxtaposition of her hand against mine. Old and young. Wrinkled and smooth.

At that moment, i realised that i'm afraid of getting old! Yes, i am! So afraid of it!
It seems ludicrous to say this, but i think i finally understand why Emperor Qin wanted to find a pill for immortality. Growing old is scary enough and dying will be much worse, especially for someone who's at the brink of it.

The big 25 crept into my life yesterday. Not that i mind. Really! (I'm trying to convince myself, real hard). Because i know it's definitely better than 26, 27 or the BIGGER 30.

What happens when you're 25? I think i saw an alien creature called "cellulite" making some form of invasion around my butt area. Either that, or my eye-sight is starting to fail me. It's more of a consolation to believe that my eye-sight's lousy. Or maybe it's poor lighting? (That's even a better consolation. Paces up and down furiously and conclusively declares it to be so. Yippee!)

Your metabolic engine seems to stall more often, which explains why some fats congregate around the waist and butt, festering at amazing speeds. The hideous congregation drew bouts of laughter from my fellow dance mates during one of our social dance sessions.
Arghhh...
Is it time to say bye-bye to my relentless chomp chomp?
Can i ever bear to kiss good-bye my weekly rendezvous with beloved cheese-cakes, chocolates, tiramisus, lagsane?

What happens when you're 25? You can't say that you're in your early twenties anymore when the ubiquitous, pesky surveyors ask for your age. You gotta tell them that you're in your "mid-twenties".
Another round of arghhh....

Aren't there any good about turning 25? Hmmm...let's see...
Well, at least you no longer stammer and stumble during important social occasions.
It's the age of self-assurance and confidence!You have the audacity to wear bright pink without batting an eyelid. You pose for the camera without that awkward smile.
You spend money with less guilt, knowing that you earn your keep.You travel the world without worries, knowing that your parents are less bothered about your safety now that you're older, wiser and more street-savvy. That's the quid pro quo that 25 offers you for taking away bits of your youth.

What's good about turning 25? Your years of friendship with friends just become longer! Again! I can now proudly say that fang, jeas and I have been friends for 16 years. Teng, yuke and the rest for 12 years. My gang of beautiful eight for 8 years. My girl gang from CS for 6 years. My lindy pals for 4 years.

Isn't that incredible? That's what age has to offer you: celebration of life -- year after year -- with people who are close to you for aeon. And i celebrated/ am going to celebrate my 25th bday with all of them! A BIG, BIG THANK YOU to all!! MUACK! =)

See, turning 25 is not bad after all! (Trying to console myself again).
Alan Tham likes 25 so much that he has faithfully clung on to that label for more than 20 to 30 years now.(His line: I'm 25 years old plus only a few days!) I think i should crown him as my new idol: he knows that 25 is the best age for anything and everything. So I'm gonna LAP IT UP! Or i hope i'm gonna to.

Eh...but I'm heading to the stores for the eye-cream, wrinkle-free cream, whatever cream to make me look young for as long as possible.
I'm still stuck with that frame of my grandma's hand and mine. (No irreverence intended!)