Friday, June 20, 2008

The Old Young Lady..

Who's that old lady?
The one limping, her knee cracking with every step she took.
That decrepit one, with the risk of multiple sclerosis setting in.
Who's that young lady?
The one dancing, with liveliness reigning her day.
That insatiable one, hoping to be quenched of her dreams and passion.
Who's that old young lady?
The one writing, setting off the rhythm of the computer keyboard.
That contemplating one, pondering when the old will usurp the young within.

Dance Dance Dance

I picked up this book by Haruki Murakami and i must say, it's a damn good read!! While the title suggests acrobatic movements, muscle stretching and sensuality, the book, so far, is nothing about that. I had picked it up because i thought it's related to dance. But i couldn't be more wrong. My guess is that this book, with its whimsical plot and even more whimsical characters --without denial of them being so real -- gave it the element of being very fluid and that feeling of expectancy and unexpectancy, just like a dance.
I'm still at it, page 69. It's an accomplishment for me to read that far already because I simply can't quite handle novels. Most simply don't appeal. Flat plots with even flatter writing. My patience was tenuously tested when i tried to read Sophie's World and when i reached the 80-something page, I declared that enough was enough. The hype surrounding it certainly didn't live up. Much as i hope I'll be able to go "Yes!!! It's such a wonderful read!!" and join in the group who revelled in the read, things just were not heading that way. To me, it was one of the crappiest and most boring books I've ever read.

Parts from "Dance Dance Dance" which drew out laughs from me. Bus rides couldn't be more fun when you have a good book with you. And i say that even when i have to wrestle with more problems of being short-sighted and nausea from the jerking that bus-drivers from hell are way capable of.

"Due to the nature of these magazines, most of the people i had to interview were in show business. No matter what you asked them, they had only stock replies. You could predict what they'd answer before you asked the question. In the worst cases, the manager would insist on seeing the questions in advance. So it always came with everything written out. Once i asked a seventeen-year-old singer something that wasn't on the list, which cause her manager to pipe up: "That wasn't what we agreed on -- she doesn't have to answer that." That was a kick. I wondered if the girl couldn't answer what month followed October without this manager by her side. "

"Latter-day capitalism. Like it or not, it's the society we live in. Even the standard of right and wrong has been subdivided, made sophisticated. Within good, there's fashionable good and unfashionable good, and ditto for bad. Within fashionable good, there's formal and then there's casual; there's hip, there's cool, there's trendy, there's snobbish. Mix 'n' match. Like putting on a Missoni sweater over Trussardi slacks and Pollini shoes you can now enjoy hybrid styles of morality. It's the way of the world -- philosophy starting to look more and more like business administration."

"If left me wondering how the ancient Egyptians filled their days, what little pleasures they enjoyed as they whiled their weary way to death. Learning to swim, wrapping mummies. And the sum accomplishment of that you call a civilisation."

Sunday, June 15, 2008

There..But Not Quite Yet...

One of my songs for the next exam.
A very beautiful piece: Chopin's Nocturne Op. 9 No. 1
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cFhaBEtmHeU&feature=related
First page out of four down. I'm looking forward to putting this piece together!
Its peaceful melancholia speaks so much to me and it was from this piece that my teacher said that i really have the musicality. Don't know if i should be happy or sad that melancholia and I are quite readily an item.
And playing it on a grand that day, the richness of the sound simply overwhelmed me. So beautiful!! Ha, i guess putting a baby grand at home is another secret ambition of mine. But that will have to wait cos it's just so damn ex!

Speaking of being in touch, it beats me how Sex and the City, the movie, managed to make me tear. Till i realised i was playing Carrie, Miranda and Charlotte. Being dumped at the altar, being betrayed by husband, not being able to have a baby. Haha. I just can't help being so imaginative. Empathy, i guess, is like breathing to me. Slap me please!

Happy Father's Day...

I had the secret ambition to hug my parents. Being the traditional Chinese family, showing affection for one another isn't quite our forte. Yes, being engulfed in such an environment, hugging became a goal in life, something that i imagined doing, something that i thought i want to do and crave doing but never did quite get down to doing it. (It is THAT HARD. Unimaginable.) Yet, this daunting task seems ludicrous considering how you serve out generous portions of hugs to friends.
Just when i thought i would need to carry my secret ambition to my grave, i thought it would be nice to give my dad a hug since it is Father's Day today. (Of course you don't need a reason to give a hug, but i must say having an official day to mark how much you appreciate your dad makes things a lot easier, as it legitimises things that you won't normally do.) The surprising thing is, he is so much more receptive to the hug than i thought he would be. Somehow, over the years, his strict, stern exterior, the one who put his belt to the maximum use (and i don't mean him having his belt around his waist 24/7), has slowly dissolved. Now, he feels more like a friend, someone whom you can share a joke or tease mercilessly.
The hug felt natural, just like how it should feel between a father and his daughter.
It reminded me of how my mum enthusiastically reciprocated the hug i gave her on Mother's Day.
Perhaps, in our family, i'm not the only one who harboured dreams of more affection.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

Following Your Heart

Follow your heart. Those who always do, this entry will sound pretty idiotic. Pardon me!
When you need to make a decision, always follow your heart.
My best decisions made so far, were always based on what my heart told me. Based on what i felt. On whether dissonance seeped into my system.
The heart. Not the head.
Decisions made, based on conventions, disregarded.
Listen. Listen. Listen.
Failure to do so, disastrous.
Never, never rationalise how to reach that end point, ostensibly the best in people's eyes.
Because it is not.
At least not the best for you.
Regrets.
For not following my heart, at times.