Ephemeralness...

I hope i don't quite sound like a jaded and cynical being, but the concept of eternal friendship sounds more like an eternal search for one than anything else. But i was once hopeful, like many others.

I remembered the three of us having a heated conversation with B over this issue. Him, a dogmatic belief in the transience of friendship. Us, an equally staunch faith about forever friends.

And it never occurred to me that i would ever switch sides. But here goes:

People go down very different paths after they start to work.
Some work for money.
Some scrimp to buy branded goods.
Some cling on to ideals.
Some give up on living.
Some fall into the abyss of cynicism.
Some start their families.
Some choose to be swinging singles.
Some develop different value systems.

Yes, so along the way, priorities, interests, outlook and values diverge, although ironically those were the very things that brought people together as friends initially.

So, I'm not as inclined to believe that friendships are meant to last forever anymore.

But wait!! While i have switched sides, I'm still a rather idealistic being. I still want to believe that many friendships can last me through half my life-time and more. At least i can envision half a dozen going down that alley. I hope i'm right.
I'll try to make that happen, but not too hard.
That's my new take on friendship.

Pet Peeves

Watch out!!
1. People who are always unfashionably late.
2. People who cancel out on dates at the last minute.
I'm sorry, but unless you have a really GOOD reason for doing so, I'm not one to really entertain the above. For you, it may be not big deal. For me, i have whole loads of stuff i could have done had the above incidents not happened.
The time i spent waiting for you could have been better employed, say, for even sleeping. I don't get enough sleep already. A sleepy wz is an angry wz. I could have practised my piano, exercised, read. Everything beats waiting in vain for somebody who has no respect for another person's time.
And had i not agreed to meet you, I could have made arrangements to meet other friends instead. My weekends are precious beyond words given that i have to do weekend markings sometimes. The only reason why i'm meeting you, my dear friend, is because you mean a lot to me and therefore, i make the conscious effort to meet. It's not a random decision i make. So please respect my time.

Too overbearing for your liking? Too bad.

Gaga over Him...

My two-year old nephew has got such lovely and big puppy eyes. Couple that with angelic demeanour. Oh and did i say anything about the way he laughs? Hearty, innocent, pure. He is so bloody (pardon my language), darn (pardon my language again. I can't help it) cute. If I were to see him everyday, that's it! I'm gonna get married by the end of this year and have a kid of my own next year. (Thankfully, i don't get to see him everyday. Ha)Perfect poster boy to bolster our abysmal population woes. Yes, i'm really, totally gaga over him!!!

Another humbling moment...

I went to a neighbourhood secondary, on the mission to attract academically strong students to join our JC.
I didn't know what i was in for until a harbinger came from the principal. She made a passing remark as she walked passed my booth, "Wah, JC also here to set up a booth?"
I was more than shocked to hear that, but not so when i realised what would transpire in 20 minutes' time when students got their 'O' levels results.
The top student from that school was an 11 pointer.
No, i didn't fall off my chair, but it did put things in perspective...
My secondary school is a neighbourhood school, but many amongst us scored better than 11. Many eventually landed meaty scholarships and are now doing extremely well.
When our vice-dean welcomed us on our first day in uni, he told us we were the cream of the crop, the top 5 per cent of the A level cohort. Of course, my ego was boosted hearing that. It was reassuring.
Then i fumbled through my four years in uni, losing count of the many Cs i scored along the way. I felt like an underachiever even though i was supposedly among the best.
Landed a job that made many went "Wah...!!!" But i felt like "Duh...no big deal" because it really wasn't.
And our principal told us that teachers who are sent to JCs are, again, supposedly the better ones from the cohort. Again, i went "Duhhh..can't be...it has got to be more of a coincidence"...
Back to the neighbourhood school i told you about at the start of this blog entry. I saw a crowd of students patting a classmate's back going, " Ho seh lah U...17 points can go JC leh...Ho Seh lah..Do so well!" Then scores of students skipped away from my booth, as though i was a plague, while dismissing their results, saying, "Ehh, JC ah? Haha.."
I entered a completely different world. One that i was never exposed to. I didn't give much thought previously that only the top 20 to 25 % go to JCs in my time. No big deal.
On that day, i thought, "so what happens to the remaining 75% every year? That's a lot of people. Am i missing out on interacting with people of all strata? It's a scaring thought, that i'm only mixing with "my own kind" of people. What are their lives like, for the rest of them? What has education done to us? Stratifying us according to academia, so much so that we don't know how the "other kinds" lead their lives. No close contact with them in my life. So what have i got to offer my students anyway, when my exposure to fellow Singaporeans has been so limited? Yes, i suddenly felt like i was in "The Matrix", not knowing my life has already been shaped by SOMEBODY...