contentment...

Why is it i have so many things in this world and still feel something missing?
Why is it i am surrounded by so many loved ones and still feel lonely?
I feel myself stripped naked writing these down.
Are these just passing thoughts or have i always felt them simmering in me?
These feelings. Never over-the-top. Yet its omnipresence knocks at my consciousness, every once in a while.
Is it normal to feel this way?
I enjoy solitude. Loads of it. I need a lot of time and space for myself. But there are times when loneliness creeps in unknowingly.
Sometimes, i'm confused even as to whether i'm enjoying the solo flight.
Again, is this normal?
Will this gap be filled by a special someone?
But if you're with someone because you're lonely, i don't think that someone can fill that gap. Momentarily, yes. But when the novelty wears off, loneliness steps in again.
Are you with someone because you're lonely and you need someone to take it away (if that's ever possible)?
Or is it because you truly enjoy the person's company?
But then again, is there anything wrong being with someone simply because you're lonely?
These questions hound me all the time. Maybe it's because i want to seek truth in myself. Maybe it's because i'm bloody too free and think too much into non-existent issues.
Issues that nobody else bothers to tink about. Simply because you can never seek answers to them, or perhaps they are too inane for thought anyway.
Is the answer simply "contentment"?
But isn't contentment something that everyone's hankering after but never fail to grasp?
Am i normal?!?!

Tis the season to be coughing...

Hey, I have lungs!! How do i know that? I'm coughing my lungs out. Bloody flu. Haven't had such a nasty one for a long time. And i gotta get it during my Laos trip. How timely! Although my trip wasn't entirely spoilt because of that, i couldn't tell you how fun it was to be coughing every five minutes of walking, feeling weak and lethargic.
But the good news is, "Hey, I have lungs!"

Face the music...

Frien working at music sch: Weizhen, you can collect your theory results from Mdm Merle.
Me: Oh, the results are out?!?
Frien: Yes, results are out.
Me: Eh....did i pass?
Frien: No, you didn't. You failed.
Me: Eh...ok...I failed? I failed. (Feigning sadness, but was really quite sad deep within)
Frien: Yah you failed.
Me: Really ah?
Frien: Really.
Me: Eh ok. (No more feigning sadness. Really quite disappointed at this point in time)
Frien: No lah, you passed lah. You got merit. Got 80 marks.
Me: Really? I passed huh? Got 80 marks?! Yay! Yay! Yay!

Yes, i was ecstatic upon hearing that. No more theory exams for me! And 80 marks for Grade 8?! Where did that come from? (Passing mark is 65, by the way. Not 50)
It's ironic that out of the five theory exams i took, this most recent one was my second best attempt. When i was immensely, horribly busy with school work, piano and dance that cold, lonely period from February to March. When work was my second name, insomnia my first.
The only other time i got merit was when i took my Grade 1 (or Grade 3?!) in year 1640. How ancient!

Forget-me-not!

I used to think i have very good memory. (Note: "Used to")
My lindy pals will attest to that.
Not attesting to the "good memory" bit. Actually, not the "used to" bit either.
Hmmm...actually they can't attest to that statement.
Haha...because for as long as I've known them, I'm THE Miss Blur cum Forgetful, second to none.
My fingers won't be enough to count the number of instances where, with faces furrowed, they shook their heads in disbelief at my mega-memory lack.
I can't remember the dance steps. I can't recall what transpired ten minutes ago.
I'm a walking eraser.
Yet, my secondary pals could be pretty astounded by my mega-memory.
Case-in-point: i could still remember the cheer we composed for our A. Maths teacher, Mr Meah. A whimsical piece spurred by the intoxification of Nippon point during that crazy period of banner painting, aka interclass-Sports-Day-drawing-near period. Mr Meah, had a very distinctive flavour of pronunciation, especially when he wanted to emphasize the marks we would get for doing the wrong workings.

Flashback.
The year was 1995.
Mr Meah: Can. You can get marks for doing it this way. Zeeeeeero mark!

This is what the cheer sounds like:
What you want to learn ah, Dy.Dx
What you want to learn ah, Dy.Dx
A. Maths, Mr Meah
Cannot do, Zeeero mark
Meah, Meah, all the way!!

This is a rip-off from the original:
Who you wan to be ah? 3-2 warriors!
Who you wan to be ah? 3-2 warriors!
How far? All the way!
Half way? No way!
Any sweat? No sweat!
Chicken feet. Haha. All the way!

Believe it or not, we cheered our lungs out so that he could hear us that fateful interclass Sports Day.
And believe it or not, he wore a big smile on his face.

Ohh-la-la...

When a bath feels like heavenly spa, you know your mood's a tad too good.
When you can't help but smile, even when the smell of amusement is a mile away, you know you're in a fabulous mood.
And why not?
Mr Assignment, an acquaintance of mine, has decided to call it quits and bid farewell. For now.
And i can't wait to say...
Hip hip hooray!! Hip hip hooray!! One more time. Hip hip hooray!!
I don't exactly hate him that much. But picture this: how could you like an aggressor who doesn't let live a day of peace for five months ?
Could you? I couldn't.
And so, now that he's finally letting up, I say: "Kick your ass! Don't ever come near me again, you creep!"