Of Thoughts & Realisations

Mdm Renee: You need to exert the right amount of pressure on each finger, use your wrist to help u achieve that. Relax your body. (Doesn’t this sound like yoga?!)

This instruction from my piano teacher, Mdm Renee, sounds simple enough. But it is three full months after I start learning from her that I finally seem to begin to understand what her words mean. To be able to put her words into actions finally is priceless. Not that I’m any good at it yet. In fact, I’m far from it. But to be able to experience that feeling is good enough for me, for now.

Mdm Renee: Don’t try to play fast. Just aim to make sure that every note sounds clear. When you can achieve that, you can play songs you want. It’s like walking. When you know how to walk, do you need people to teach you how to run?

Amidst my anxiety, impatience and eagerness to start on the diploma syllabus soon (building on my foundation again, so the diploma syllabus will have to wait) I seem to have forgotten that the journey is more important than the destination. So much so that I let my ego get the better of me. It’s a very humbling experience, knowing that you’re not as good as you think you are and that you still have a long way ahead. Now, I’m playing my scales at the speed of a Grade 5, I think. But it’s ok. I’ve learnt to enjoy the crisp notes that I’m producing at that speed.

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“The demise of journey. Can one ever get it back, if everyone has one to begin with?”
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I used to enjoy shopping. But now it’s a dread. Because it seems that that only things I get from shopping are a backache and sore legs.

“I’m in serious need of clothes and I really need to get them by today.” That’s it. It seems that every time I think that way, chances are I’ll never get my shopping done!

Was shopping around for decent pants and blouses to wear to school when I saw this lovely gown. A gown so lovely you know you’ll lose sleep over it if you do not try it on. (Haha. Exaggeration lah. Please don’t think I’m so frivolous.) So I did. Fabulous. But the fabulous dress had a not-so-fabulous price tag of $119. Of course I did the sensible thing. To buy it…not. But trying on something so beautiful just made me ecstatic.

Then it struck me that I had forgotten how to enjoy the journey again. Shopping used to be fun because I tried on clothes for the hell of it.

“All right. Stop thinking that you’ll need to get your shopping done. Just shop!”

With that, my sluggish mood turned bullish. Grabbed practically anything that I felt like trying on. The two white dresses from Yin & Yang looked great on me too! Sigh, if only I have money to burn!

I managed to get two pair of pants and a blouse. Not bad. But yesterday’s shopping was one of the best I had in ages. Quite simply because I learnt to enjoy it, all over again.

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“In our society where the Internet bestows us with almost instant gratification, we seem to require constant reminders on enjoying the journey.”
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