People We Love to Hate Yet Hate to Love

Ww asked me why i've not blogged for some time.

Maybe because i know that if i do, i'll probably be slamming men. Lambasting them for their deeds, their infidelity, selfishness and others of that ilk.

Somehow, I've made a promise to myself to make my blogs as light-hearted and cheery as possible, so that whoever stumbles upon my blogs will feel happier after reading them. But i guess that'll be a futile attempt to conceal the fact that i'm a human. Specifically, a woman that is capable of feeling and reacting to the happiness and sadness out there.

These few months seem to be the season for breakups. Breakups and no makeups. No getting together. To know how some friends have been circling at the bottomless, dark pits of emotions gets my blood pressure shooting. Knowing them to be wonderful beings, watching them getting stuck in relationship quagmires simply makes me feel so sad for them. But angry at them and for them at the same time. How can pretty, young things shrivel beyond recognition? To lose their sense of being, their sense of worth, over men who are simply worse than assholes?

I fail to comprehend that. Or maybe I've always only been an audience, not a player, to fully understand that paradoxical, oxymoron-ic bittersweet pain that relationships bring. For them to willingly suffer the anguish, hurt and pain. How much worse can it get to hear a married woman say this:"I think i'm paying some sort of penance by marrying him"?

Maybe i've many more close gal friends than guy friends. Hence explaining why I've only been hearing the sob stories involving betrayals of the fairer sex. After hearing them, i shudder thinking: are there good men out there? Should i still hold on to the faith that someday, I'll be able to find a good man to share my life?

I think i'm born a pessimist. However, I'm a nurtured optimist. J once said that he's not a pessimist but a failed optimist. Hate as i to admit, that phrase seems to make more and more sense to me. Is that inborn pessimist finally going to usurp the place of that nurtured optimist in me? I shudder again.

BUT YET, i know that there's always hope. Seeing so many lovey-dovey couples out there, surely I should hold on to the belief that love exists.

Everywhere.

But not that instant noodle kind of love, please. Twangy at the first bite but turning softer than soft after just ten minutes.

Like to hear my very logical explanation of why there's always hope to finding a good man? Well, you see, I happen to be a good woman. LOL. (Gonna be shameless about this here. Ahaha) So are my many other good gal friends. So if there are still so many good women out there, there must still be a proportionate number of good men out there right? All the men out there: raise your hands if you agree with me on that!