Cold Sweat...

Call it the pre-agreement jitters. I'm going into NIE in Jan for my training and I'm supposed to sign the teacher training agreement soon. All these while, i've been pretty sure that this is what i want: to sign the agreement, go for training and then teach for as long as i could withstand.

However, as the day for signing draws closer, i start to feel unnerved. Unsettled. Three years is not exactly a short time. And I don't think i'm tackling the easiest of subjects, Eng and Chem. They just rejected my appeal to change to music. I admit i'm having cold feet now. Horrific thoughts of how i might not cope inundate my mind. I worry if i'll end up like one of those teachers who break down and end up in a mental institution. I worry if i'll be so busy marking papers that my weekends will be days to exercise only my wrist. I worry. I worry. I know i'm thinking too much.

And though i'm just signing away three years of my life, i guess i kind of glean on why some people get jitters before they sign on the dotted lines for marriage. It really is scary -- spending your life with someone for the rest of your life. While it seems that the sanctity and sacredness of marriage is on a slippery slope to frivolity and that many are opting out of it as easily as they opt in, it still will be a life-changing decision that will warrant many sleepless nights. At least for me. Eh not that i'll need to consider it any time soon. Like i say, I think too much, like all my gal friends.

To sign or not to sign. The conclusion is, I'll still sign it. Crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. Sometimes, it's really better to follow Nike's way of life. Forest Gump's philosophy's pretty sound too. But to combine them will work best for me now. Because life's like a box of chocolate and you'll never know what you'll get, so you should just do it.