What's New?!

What's new? What's new?
Why aren't i surprised that after soooo many years, i'm still a trembling idiot when i step into the exam studio?
I played way below standard. %$#$%^%$#@!*
It felt like deja vu the way the examiner talked to me.
It was just like how that examiner spoke, the one who auditioned me for teaching music in school.
I felt as though he was saying, "Nice try. Try again. Thank you. See you again."
It really felt that way.
Aiy. And immediately after, i was gripped by that feeling of being very lost. Don't know where to head to. Don't feel like going home. Don't feel like buying things. Don't feel like reading. Don't feel like doing anything.
But i needed to head somewhere if i didn't intend to plant my feet to the ground.
Headed home.
Felt like crying on my way home.
Didn't.
But didn't feel any better either.
Until i heard "Everytime U Cry" by John Farnham and Human Nature. One of my fav songs. Certainly came at the right time. Yes, after that i felt much better.
Hmmm, maybe a tiramisu will save my day. Plus a chionging session. Plus some good company. Plus more good food. Plus some booze. Plus dancing.
I'm talking about over the next few days.
I'm sad. Not crazy.